Our Philosophy

team-sitting

 
 

At Frazer Holmes we have a certain ethos about what coaching is, and how people work. We believe that:

  • People are not their behaviour. Every negative behaviour has a positive intent. In everything we do, we are trying to bring peace and comfort to ourselves or avoid pain. Often our strategies and behaviours can be very unresourceful, incongruent with our values and even destructive.
  • People are real. Life is real. God is real. This reality is proven by the fact that we have 100% choice and total responsibility. However, nothing is certain in this game of life. We can make great choices as well as poor ones and one great choice does not guarantee the next one will be of the same quality. We all have ultimate responsibility for our lives, but we can give it away and live as disempowered victims.
  • This game of life is played with incredibly high stakes. We can win and lose, love and hate, give and take, live and die. We are not our choices. Our choices may hurt us and others, but they do not define us. We are not bad people because we do bad things. We do bad things because we are needy people.
  • To seek to be free from our capacity to do the wrong thing is a fool’s quest. In order to be able to make good choices we must also have the ability to make poor choices. In order to be able to love, hate must also be available to us; otherwise both good and love cease to be meaningful. Therefore there is no point judging our ‘shadow’ or even our behaviour. We must become more aware of the choices we make and continue making better choices more aligned with our core values.
  • When we make poor choices we experience the consequences and end up lost and disconnected from God, others, the planet and ourselves. Often our sin is its own punishment. People are lost, this does not make them intrinsically bad.
  • People are created in the image of God and display the divine in their ability to create. We are always creating our reality. It is not being created for us. The aim is to put our creativity to good use and create compelling, attractive, flourishing lives for ourselves and others.
  • The aim of life is to find ourselves and become fully human. It is not to be ruled by our desires and become animalistic, nor is the aim to seek to escape desire and become entirely spiritual or angelic.